Photograph by Margo Wiessman

January 5th, 2013

Should you regret your past?  Should you regret your present?  Should you beat yourself raw… contemplating where you would be now had you made different decisions in the past?  Well, the answer is, once again, yes and no.  You have spent several years now reflecting and tearing yourself down along with those human eyes around you.  But your reasons for tearing yourself down are your own — very different from those other disapproving and pitying eyes.

And you have spent significant time contemplating and musing about the human direction – expressing the insanity and shallowness of that direction.  You have mused about utopia and how a different momentum could free mankind from the shackles it has wrapped around itself.

But there comes a point where such tearing down, reflection, and musing about what could’ve been or what could be, for yourself and humanity at large, becomes merely an escape, an excuse, a justification to continue on in the same unfruitful and unfulfilling direction.  The general human momentum is not yours to control and it isn’t going to suddenly change to a more logical and intelligent direction.  Besides, there are many human beings, apparently most of them, whom are perfectly content with the human momentum.  And you know that you have enjoyed pieces of that momentum as well, which is exactly why that momentum is so destructive.

Now is the time to figure out what you need to take from and give to that momentum without being completely consumed by its nature.   And now is the time to look at what was good about your past major decisions and what is good about your present – begin to build yourself back up to prepare yourself for the fight forward.

9 thoughts on “Transition

  1. It is a fight isn’t it? No matter which direction you begin and never seeing an end… it is the self imposed prison of thought and doubt which confines [me]… I am sure I am off base and again it is a personal reflection of your words which resonate… thank you for your insight once more

  2. Yes, I think it is a fight…a fight to live and feel alive…and I relate to your comment…self-imposed prison of thought and doubt…leads to a state of paralysis…and then simply going along with the momentum…because you can’t carve your own way.

  3. If this is really the moment of self-reflection I’ve been begging you for, I’m really, really proud of you, Tinc! ♥ I might be Hermine after all!

    Um… please don’t kill me, okay?

    • lol…I self-reflect all the time in my head…I am just putting it to pen and sharing with a few people:-)

      So…does this mean you read Steppenwolf? If so…I am jumping for joy. What did you think of it? And I won’t kill you…I promise.

  4. I agree with the ‘…and what is good about your present…’. The journey forward gets much easier when we take our eyes away from the rear-view mirror, and stop reminiscing about what we had in the past, and start working with what we have now.

    These journal entries… brave heart. 🙂 I know I couldn’t do it. I did try once in a certain few months of confusion and anguish. I took the posts down, some stayed as drafts, never even saw the light of day. I just felt so… bare. More power to you.:)

    • LOL…yes…it can be a little naked…but I have generally told the truth or say things rather bluntly in a humorous or not humorous tone…so it comes naturally to me to write with honesty and expose myself…for I believe in exposing myself I am in fact exposing many of us…saying quite simply what many of us feel or know to be true. So…perhaps it makes many of us feel naked…but not so naked…because we are not alone in these thoughts and our actions.

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