Beloved Brother

We came from the same womb and were nurtured under the same set of beliefs and rules.  We were fortunate to live near natural beauty – the woods, then the rolling foothills and nature preserve with panoramic views of civilization below.  We witnessed, firsthand, the American Dream play itself out from start to finish.  But our paths have taken very different directions.

Your nature was strong and rebellious from the start and therefore you were cast out.  You were the older brother I was to avoid – the black sheep.  You, brother, equipped with an imagination and a passion for wisdom and the arts, were considered dangerous and a threat to my young mind.

As an orphan, metaphorically speaking, you learned to define your course and have held steady and consistent – like a river carving its way through rock flowing downhill to the expansive, glistening ocean.  All of them failed to beat the demons out of your nature.

I, on the other hand, leaned more towards the influence of nurture, at the expense of my nature.  Although I evolved as an observer and lover of beauty, it wasn’t until later in life (college and our time together in Europe) that I became interested in wisdom and the arts.

It would have been so easy for me to just stay the course, not to think, not to dream, not to question this or that.  But my nature never died and therefore I experienced a perpetual discomfort, even amidst my “outward” success.   As a result, my course has swayed this way and that – running into many ponds, lakes, and dams on my journey towards the ocean expanse.

But, without you, I fear that my course wouldn’t have swayed as much as it has and I may never have broken free from the idea of the American Dream.  You were and are a source of inspiration.  Later in life, you became my mentor.  I find it so strange that we think so much alike on all the big ideas, even though so much time, space, and path directions have kept us apart.  Your depth of thought travels much deeper and wider, but the fundamentals are the same.  And most important of all, when we are together, we know how to enjoy life and laugh at it all, including ourselves.

You are the only person that I connect with on so many philosophical levels.  The ideas we share may appear harsh, critical, and disturbing to many people, but it is unfortunate that they don’t see the incredibly positive aspects of those fundamental ideas.  You are a great man my brother, the one consistent pillar in my life, aside from that of nature herself — I love you.

7 thoughts on “Beloved Brother

  1. A beautiful public tribute to a pivotal person in your life. You are lucky that it is your own brother, so that your paths can still correspond in exchanges of living in the future.

    • Thank you veraersillia…we live pretty close to each other now…and get together now and then…less often than we would like. Unfortunately…he has really improved his golf game to such a point that he is the favorite to win!!!

      • Indeed…he used to not care about golf…to intellectual for it…lol…then in the last few years he has taken it up seriously…and I have not been able to keep my game sharp…so the pendulum has swung!

  2. As long as one makes it to that ocean expanse, it does not matter how one gets there. There are many who never do.

    What I have tried to be, my likewise and only Beloved Brother, was simply a catalyst to the things that were already and always within you, but which others for their own “reasons” sought to suppress. Whether they did so because those things were likewise suppressed within them, or those things just were not there to begin with, is something I guess we will never know. In any case, it is evident that I succeeded in what I tried to be for you, and they failed in what they tried to do to you.

    You have also been such a pillar in my life. I still remember the pivotal moment in our relationship–I’m sure you know even before reading it what I am referring to. We were driving in that silly family pick up truck and I was playing some “differerent” music I was trying to introduce you to. It didn’t go over very well, we butted heads a little, and then we had a moment of uncensored truth in which we spoke bluntly about what we really thought and felt. When we were done, you looked me in the eyes and said that regardless of what everyone else said and thought about me, you would always remain open to me, would always listen to what I had to say and truly consider where I was coming from. You never went back on your word, and that has made all the difference. Until that moment we had merely occupied the same cage–your ability to take a risk, which everyone had relentlessly advised you against, and trust me rather than discard me, was the key that unlocked the bars and made everything that has followed possible.

    In other words, you made it possible for me to be that catalyst–so in the end, it was truly your own doing, not mine, that has enabled you to find your way back to your own Ocean. And I witness this Odyssey of yours from the promontories of my own journey with immense pride–not the pride of a mentor, but of an equal . . . of a brother–a brother far more in spirit than in flesh.

  3. As an only child I can only imagine and feel lonely by comparison – but my two sons are close and I hope that one of them may one day pen such a tribute to the other. I am touched deeply by your words TC…

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